Friday, 15 May 2009

OMG IT'S OFFICIAL, MAE WEST IS RISEN AND LIVING IN ME

Mae West
Bras girls. What is it with bras? Apparently, on average we girls own 16 bras at any one time, but the individual bra only gets washed 6 times a year.

I can't quite get my head round the washing part - I'm sure that can't be right - but as for the 16 well let's think... there's the Shock Absorber sports bra, the white lacy, the other white lacy, the other white lacy that's given in to gravity, the other not so white lacy , the plain white that gives the unattractive 4 boob look if you bend over in it, the gorgeous white lacy with shocking pink flowers, the cream lacy with peach flowers (Mmm - nice but slightly too small) the blue scalloped lacy, the pale green silk floral, the black lacy, the black not lacy, the black halterneck, the black strapless, the black long line, the favourite black and pink burlesque stylie, the pink lacy, the red (racy) lacy. Well blow me if that isn't 18 bras - but the problem is that I've lost over a stone in weight since Christmas and have gone down a back size, so all my lovely bras are now too big and ride up at the back so my boobs end up on a level with my elbows - This is is not a good look!

So what's a girl to do? I've been on a quest to find some nice new uplifting white bras at reasonable prices - I don't want any of the currently trendy formed cups, for reasons which will become clear. I've been everywhere, tried on about 20 bras (all in fitting rooms with dodgy curtains - don't you just hate trying on bras!) and they're either too big on the back, too small on the cup or vice versa.

In desperation, and on The BGF's advice, - I think she was getting fed up with the whole bra shopping thing to be honest! I've been to our local lingerie specialists and been fitted properly, coming home with two new (one white, one flesh toned) bras which fit beautifully, and cost a fortune, of course. BUT I've gone UP ANOTHER CUP SIZE to 36 F - I mean F - How can you lose a stone and GO UP A CUP SIZE? IT'S JUST NOT NATURAL! So if anyone knows of any bust reducing exercises please let me know! I mean, it is reassuring to know that I'm in no danger of drowning off the coast of Skegness this summer, but I do wish Mae would go and take up residence in someone who wants/needs her!

4 comments:

  1. lol this made me laugh :-)

    i was a 34 c before I had my daughter, then went up to a 44F. After I had her I was wearing a 38D (I dont know where I dreamed this up from because I got measured and am apparently a 32E MADNESS).

    Rose XXX

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  2. No way! When I lost a stone and a half I went down two inches and a cup size. Maybe I'm not normal.

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  3. I have worn the same size for more years than I care to remember and no I am not telling you what it is. But on the subject of bras does anybody know where you can get gadgets to stop straps slipping? I can't cope with the trend of have a strap show it. It must be an age thing. Great blog Maisie. Hope the next stone doesn't have the same effect.

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  4. Wow what a tale. Perhaps they are now using coffee cups instead of breakfast cups . Whoever thought of CUPS anyway. I prefer my cups to have a drink in them (or is that glasses). Beware if you keep losing stones here and there you may end up with an EGG-CUP!

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Thanks for sharing your happy thoughts. Maisie Moonshine x

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